"I hope you're decent. If not you'dbetter speak up now."I still was too upset to speak, so he stepped in. He closed the doorbehind him, and said softly. "I'm sorry for earlier."I interrupted him. "No, Mack. I'm the one who should apologize. Youdidn't know. I'm still so unbalanced. I really don't know what I shoulddo. I'm so scared about the future. Now I'm rambling, I'll just stopnow."Mack sat next to me. "I can't start to imagine what you're goingthrough. Well, mostly anyway. I do have a friend at college that wentthrough a big change not unlike yours and she was just as distressed.Our small group of friends there talked her out of her destructiveideas, and she's doing much better now."I had to ask. "Destructive ideas?"He smiled a wry smile. "She was contemplating suicide or going off tolive as a hermit somewhere, among other things. I'm just saying, you'renot alone in all of this; you have a supportive family, and I'm surethat soon you will find some true friends. You know, the. I especially enjoyed a pair of low-cutDiesel jeans with a big, cream-colored, cable-knit turtle neck sweater.I wore either my white Keds, a pair of pink and blue running shoes or anyof a number of flats I owned. Underneath would be panties and a nicecamisole. In fact, that's what I was wearing this evening. I hadn'tdone much with my hair, which was collar length with a slight curl at theends and long bangs that I could sweep over one eye or the other, for anice feminine look. When I was dressed as a guy, I combed it straightback with gel. Women seemed to like it that way, and I got manycompliments, probably because they could easily see my big blue eyes. My eyebrows were neatly trimmed, with a bit of an arch underneath, butnot obviously feminine (at least without makeup!). Tonight I was wearingsome smoky brown eye shadow you could hardly see, a touch of mascara, andvery light blush, just enough to bring out my rather high cheek bones. Iprobably looked more androgynous than.
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